Saturday, August 15, 2015

The Longfellow and the Short of It: "Pulsating Flesh" (1987)

This adult film is an oddity- it was produced in the late 1980's, but was shot on 35mm film stock, not videotape...oh, and it's really stupid.

Ray Hardin, one of porn's most unlikely leading men, is Peter Longfellow. Peter has the ability to make any woman pregnant thanks to his very potent "sperms." He goes on Joan Carson's (Tamara Longley) talk show to introduce some pornographic clips from his life, and two young female viewers get turned on as the sex is somehow broadcast over the air and into their bedroom. They call Peter to come over after the show's taping to satisfy them as well.

Hardin is credited with the screenplay, which is not exactly "Casablanca" or "Chinatown." I'm not sure if this was supposed to be a comedy but the humor is decidedly lame. At one point, Peter makes a wisecrack about shortening his name, Joan reacts with "that's a great line," but I still don't get the joke. Then again, if a producer told me I got to have sex with about half a dozen beautiful women if I came up with a story, I'm pretty sure plot points and character arcs would suffer.

The female cast are all very attractive. Reems has a glorified cameo in a stock porno role, and Serling is surprisingly hairy and sweaty. Tobalina's camera angles are well done, and the picture (in the DVD release from Vinegar Syndrome) is clear and bright. The film does suffer from outlandishly bad sound editing, like moaning sounds from actors whose mouths are otherwise occupied. Joan's television studio is somebody's living room, and the stock footage of her "live audience" is kind of creepy since it has some children applauding along to sex acts. When Peter climaxes, the film makers add a laser beam-like sound effect that made me unintentionally giggle. Some of the sex scenes, while intermingled thanks to film editing, run way too long, and you may be wondering about Reems' introductory scene until it is explained much too later on in the weak story.

"Pulsating Flesh" is pretty awful, but I enjoyed the '80's fashion and hair (I graduated from high school a year before this was released), and whoever cast the actresses did an outstanding job. (* *) out of five stars.

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