Monday, October 22, 2012

Good Luck...Getting Through This: "Wish Me Luck" (1995)



Desperation. Sometimes film makers will go to extreme lengths to lure an audience. For some, wacky gadgets and mock insurance policies pull the crowds in. For others, a good script and capable performers are enough, but not here. To make sure the audience pays full attention to the opening and closing credits, the director went with his cast's real strength- bare breasts!

Playboy Playmate Avalon Anders...yeah, I've never heard of her either...is Jeannie, an actual genie sent to Earth to help nerdy Henry (Zen Gemser) find his manhood so she won't become the slave of the evil Slag (Tom Kane)...my God, this is lame. Henry can't sleep with Jeannie because he is in love with Rachel. He is also bullied around the community college campus by Eddie (David Sobel) and his gang. Jeannie only has two days before becoming enslaved, and Henry is beyond helpless...I've got to stop this review and pull over to the side of the information highway. I need to vomit, the headache is so bad.

While the video box cover pushes this as a raunchy teen sex comedy, I am pressed to remember anyone in the cast looking younger than twenty-five...and they are portraying community college students. The special effects are cutting edge 1995 technology, if you had no special effects budget. The lameness factor is very high, higher than the dialogue in this year's "Transformers." There is such a thing as comic timing, but you wouldn't know it from watching this exercise in stiltedness.

The film is padded with some fantasy softcore sex scenes, and apparently everyone at Oak Valley Community College fantasizes about sex in the exact same stained glass bedroom. The comedy not only "does not work," it is "painful to watch." I caught this on a VHS copy, doubting a deluxe two-disc special edition DVD release is forthcoming.

Finally, Avalon and her ta-ta's. She can't act, and displays her only assets constantly. The topless dancing during the credits is so sad and so pathetic, I actually felt bad for her. Stay tuned through the closing credits, where our wacky film makers go all "Airplane!" on us and throw in wild and crazy stuff like a cookie recipe, fake second unit credits from Bora Bora, and then thank Martin Scorsese and "Stephen" Spielberg. I'd like to thank them as well, for creating better films.

Don't confuse "Wish Me Luck" with the Lindsay Lohan disaster "Just My Luck"...then again, do. It couldn't be any worse than this. (*) out of five stars. Get this movie now!: Wish Me Luck