Saturday, October 13, 2012

Better Not Watch!: "Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!" (1989)

**SPOILERS** In order to revitalize this sick franchise, the film makers rip off "Friday the 13th Part VII," as if that series was one to emulate.

A blind psychic girl makes a connection with the comatose Ricky, who survived the second film. Already, we begin to see more flashbacks from the FIRST film, where they decide it was Ricky, not Billy, who remembers the Santa Claus attack and the deaths of his parents. If I have to see Tara Buckman get her top ripped off and her throat slit one more time, I will deck the halls with the rest of this video series. The film makers have also changed the ending to the last film by having Ricky with a gunshot wound to the head.

This necessitates what looks like a salad bowl on his head in order to protect his now exposed brain. Nothing scarier that a maniacal killer skulking around with what looks like a Jell-O dessert placed on the ol' cranium. Ricky wakes up, is still set off by the pesky color red, and hunts down the blind psychic girl. She is now at Psychic Granny's house with her brother and his new girlfriend, who adds to the confusion by looking exactly like blind psychic girl.

Psychic Granny is killed early, which always prompts the question "if she was psychic, why did she invite the killer in? didn't she see her own murder coming?" Granny keeps coming back and advising blind psychic girl about the psychic "gift," kind of like a gooseberry pie baking Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Robert Culp, a detective here (who should investigate how his career fell from "I Spy" to this) and a pesky scientist are hot on the trail of Ricky, who wanders around L.A. and surrounding areas with his little bowl/helmet on. At one point, with just a few miles to go to Granny's house, Culp makes the scientist pull over so he can, as he puts it, "relieve the reptile." Of course, the scientist takes this opportunity to drive off and confront Ricky alone so he can get killed. The only fathomable reason the screenwriter did this was for this weak, idiotic plot point. And on a side note, if anyone gets Culp's deja vu joke, then you are a better person than I.

The next two sequels in this now straight to video series have nothing to do with Billy and Ricky and their propensity for dressing like a beloved children's icon and hacking topless women to death...God bless us each and every one, but damn "Silent Night, Deadly Night III: Better Watch Out!". (*) out of five stars.