Saturday, October 13, 2012

Stupid Night, Dumb Night: The Crap Maker: "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" (1992)

Pity poor Mickey Rooney.

He plays a toy maker named Joe Petto (get it?) who lives with a young man named Pino (get it? get it?). It seems Joe likes to give anonymous gifts to children, which, when opened, maims and kills them. It is always nice to see a film series come full circle, resulting in more hatred for children. Here, a little boy walks in on his parents having sex, opens the door and retrieves a mysterious package, gets yelled and cursed at by his father, then watches in horror as his father opens the package and is promptly killed.

We must sit through ninety minutes of lame plot, resulting in a silly resolution that involves killer toys and giant Ken dolls. The suspenseful moments are unintentionally funny, including rocket roller blades on a kid we get to see struck by a car, and the stereotypical horny babysitter and boyfriend attacked by toy soldiers. Some of the cast from Part 4: Initiation appear in this entry, but not as their old that might have been interesting.

"Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" is (hopefully) the finale to one lame horror series.

Pity poor Mickey Rooney. (*) out of five stars.