Friday, September 14, 2012

Crystal Forced: "Crystal Force" (1990)



A family suffers a loss in the opening of this cheap little horror reject.

The dead man's hot daughter decides to work through her pain by antiquing. She goes into a little shop owned by a fat guy named "Beezle," (get it? get it?) buys a giant ugly crystal, and takes it home to her grieving mother.

So far, so mediocre...

The most jaw dropping moment comes when the daughter decides to distract her mother from the grieving process by...wait for it...holding a seance. Yes, let's get mom to get over her loss by calling the spirit of her dead husband. Anyway, the crystal holds a poorly realized generic demon that has hot devil lovin' with the daughter while Beezle hangs around the house and laughs at the demonic proceedings.

The special effects here consist of a small light show on the dining room wall, and very cheap video effects. In the finale, the daughter's husband, who we find out is a cop, goes into the medicine cabinet, mixes some blue stuff in a spray bottle, and spritzes the demon from whence he came. What was the blue stuff? Demon repellent? Windex? The blue stuff barbers use for combs? This rather important piece of info is never explained.

This cheap film is bad, but there are a few lookers and one very long sex scene, the only reasons to watch this. The actors are amateurish, as well as the script. A sequel followed, since Beezle inexplicably gets the crystal back and sells it to a nice little boy.

I cannot wait...no, really. (*) out of five stars. Get this movie now!: Crystal Force