Friday, September 28, 2012

No Giggle-O: "Galactic Gigolo" (1987)

The cast and director who brought us the fitfully funny "Psychos in Love" return with a cinematic lesson on how NOT to make a low budget comedy.

I use the term "comedy" loosely since there is nary a laugh here. A giant broccoli (Carmine Capobianco) wins a trip to Earth, where he can have all the sex with local women that he wants. On Earth, he is followed by a gangster and his stupid henchmen, and some Jewish rednecks. He is also tailed by a spunky reporter who wants to write a book about him, and a nerdy photog who takes pictures of the alien sex. There is a fight scene where the rednecks and gangsters want to kidnap the alien for their own purposes...there is some nudity...cuss words...that cute leading lady who looks like Molly Ringwald...I'm getting sleepy...

As with "Psychos in Love," this is also essentially plotless. Cabobianco does not have the same goodwill he had in the earlier film, coming off as a complete pervert. There are not as many smart jokes, either. The rednecks and the gangsters' many scenes are so unfunny they are embarrassing. The climactic fight scene drags on forever, and the movie thankfully ends in under an hour and a half.

While "Psychos in Love" played with film making conventions and genres, "Galactic Gigolo" just plays like the cable version of really bad amateur porn. Gorman's direction seems to consist of nailing the camera to the floor and leaving the room. The cast is terrible here, and the locations mostly consist of people in their living room watching TV. All of these scenes may have taken place in the same house...

Bechard also directed the equally terrible "Disconnected," and something I have not seen called "Cemetery High." He has not done much since, and with this floating around, that is understandable. His stab at being New Haven's answer to John Waters is a failure. (*) out of five stars.