Thursday, March 22, 2012

Jackasses: "Crazy White Boys" (2003)

The video opens with the following important disclaimer: "Warning: The shit in this video has been performed and supervised by Crazy White Boys. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. If you do, and get fucked up, it's on you asshole. We're not responsible for your bullshit antics." What follows is fifty minutes of junk, but with a couple of inspired segments that lift this above a "Jackass" clone.

The opening stunt involves a bunch of motorcycles flying down a California freeway, when one of the riders stands on the tank of his bike with a bus right behind him. The cops then pull him over (something you never see on "Jackass"). For every one of these segments, you get three on the level of the drunk college student on spring break unknowingly chugging pee. The cops arrive again after the Boys buy a used car and proceed to destroy the thing, all for the cameras. Another disclaimer reads "Non-professional driver on an open course."

The video is at its worst when it was at its most repulsive. Vomiting, fights, a night vision video of a mousetrap in action, a guy biting the heads off of live fish, all were not only gross but a little dull to anyone who has been jaded by shockumentaries and reality TV. Scott Lane does a boring stint about how to get free food from McDonald's. The guys destroy the interior of a house with motorbikes. Man lights genitalia on fire. More and more vomiting. There is a drive-by paintball shooting, which is going to be real unfunny some day when a victim pulls a Glock and blows some of these merry pranksters away. The worst segment might be a bunch of drunks commenting on terrorists.

However, once in a great while something funny or entertaining would work. The Boys spoof bum fighting by giving the participants actual martial arts skills. There is a pornographic segment involving what look like Barbie and Ken dolls. Two large breasted women box topless. Lane goes to meet his hero, "Jackass"'s Steve-O, by tackling him onstage during a live performance. Steve-O is pissed-o, which makes Scott, and me, laugh out loud. The Boys booby trap a bicycle, then plant it in Newport Beach and videotape it. No one steals it, so they run it to Compton and find a victim. Another piece of tape captures a world record setting cross country wheelie.

"Crazy White Boys" works when they are not being "Jackass" and doing their own original wild stuff. Drop the vomit and stick to the comedy, guys. You could call this a negative review, but I doubt my opinion is going to matter to these maniacs. (*) out of five stars.