Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Hey, Kids, Crime DOES Pay!: "Catch That Kid" (2004)

Yes, yes, we should all "Catch That Kid," and then beat the hell out of them for making this film.

Maddy (Kristen Stewart) is your typical junior high schooler. That is, if your typical junior high schooler was really into rock climbing. Her mother (Jennifer Beals!) has a convenient job as a security expert for a local bank, run by convenient jerk Brisbane (Michael Des Barres). Maddy's dad (Sam Robards), also a former rock climber, conveniently suffers the effects from an old fall and finds himself paralyzed. The only treatment available is an experimental procedure performed in Denmark (where all the cool stuff happens).

The operation would come to a quarter of a million dollars, and insurance is not paying. Maddy has two best friends- Austin (Corbin Bleu), a convenient computer geek, and Gus (Max Thieriot), a convenient mechanic. Instead of killing Mom for the insurance money, our delinquent trio decide to knock over Mom's bank and get the money for the operation. The heist is planned, performed, and routinely ends.

Stewart, Belum and Thieriot are very good in roles that are onion paper thin. All three will go far in the business. With the exception of Robards and Beals, every adult here is a complete moron, especially bank security guard Ferrell, played by an embarrassing James Le Gros. Gus' dumb older brother also conveniently gets a security job at the bank.

I watched this film and lost track of the missed opportunities. This should have been a "Who's Minding the Mint?" for the kiddie set, instead, even kids will roll their eyes at the film. Mind you, it is not technically bad, but it has been a long time since I have found a film so devoid of surprises. I was immediately bored because I knew exactly what would happen every step of the way, even predicting the little criminals' miscues, and the out and out sugary finale.

"Catch That Kid" is conveniently forgettable until one of the pay channels gets a hold of it and we must suffer through it again twenty times a day. I do not think I want my kids to watch this...Daddy needs a new pair of shoes and my sons know where I work. (* *) out of five stars.