Saturday, April 9, 2011

Cat Nip: "Alley Cat" (1984)

Karin Mani is Billie, a hot little number single-handedly cleaning up crime in a big city.

Billie is living with her feeble grandparents when she catches two henchmen stealing her car's tires. The guys are scared off, and run back to big boss Scarface (Michael Wayne). Scarface and the henchmen rob Billie's grandparents, stabbing Grandma. At the hospital, Billie meets cop Johnny (Robert Torti) in a cute way.

Billie is in training for her black belt in karate, and likes to jog at night. She stops the same henchmen from raping a hooker, but is locked up by Johnny's jerk partner Boyle (Jon Greene) for not having a gun permit. Grandma dies, and Billie is fined and put on probation for the gun thing.

The henchmen are arrested for the hooker beating, and Scarface threatens her. The henchmen receive reduced sentences, less than Billie's gun permit punishment, and she explodes at the judge. She is sent to jail on contempt charges, where she takes long showers and fights off the advances of her cellmate.

Billie is released and she teams up with new boyfriend Johnny to find Scarface, the brains behind her grandmother's murder.

This is exploitation in its purest form. The entire female cast drop their clothes, often. The violence is brutal and bloody. The dialogue is foul mouthed, and the entire thing runs a short eighty two minutes.

No one in the cast is very good, especially Wayne as Scarface. Mani looks good, and her stunt double kicks major bootay. The director, Edward Victor, is the pseudonym for three different men. This results in some pretty varied shots in the film. The screenplay is padded badly, Billie is attacked not once but twice while night jogging. For her grandparents being laid up, Billie's grieving consists of a shower seduction of Johnny. Billie has two different shower scenes here, both long.

"Alley Cat" is badly done, but the perfect exploitation film. It's bad, but not bad enough. (* *) out of five stars.